2009-01-18 - 9:46 p.m.
i have not written on here in months.
there is nothing in particular to write. days come, good and bad, two faced as is everything, and yet i try to concentrate on the good. maybe because i am not courageous enough to see the bad as the mirror image, and not a submersion.
i opened this program up to complain because i need a venting spot. the person who i have gone on and on and on about for now close to 2 years sends me an email today saying he is coming to florida today. i don't understand. if he was to come to america shouldn't he have said, hey let's meet up. why did he call me on my bday just 2 weeks earlier, even though it was his 1 am, making sure he made his phone call. it never ever makes sense! and i put lots of hope everyday that it will soon all make sense, but it keeps getting more complicated, with more reasons to think or make sense of the details. and in my life, everytime things have gotten more complex, it has been trouble. it is a lesson i should learn. the simpler a situation is, the more honest it is. the more it is a truth i can withstand.
i should let him go. like swatting a fly type of let go. it would be ideal.
oh the ideals.
